the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
