i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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