I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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