I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Boobs are out for the taking
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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