Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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