how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
