Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize