no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
