does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
