Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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