Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
