Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
