I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
