Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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