just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
