508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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