you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
