i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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