Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
