Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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