Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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