Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
