In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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