Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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