don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
