i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize