hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
