we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
