Me too!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
