paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
