First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
