Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
