yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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