Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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