Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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