I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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