he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
