Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
