no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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