There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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