well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize