he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
