Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
