I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
that's an acceptable place to lick
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
