It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
