I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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