ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
do herpes really smell.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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