How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
