He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
These tits shall not be calmed
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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