Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
