Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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