Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
