Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
