No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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