Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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