...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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