It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
