ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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