i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
