I feel great
I just peed on a car
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
